My Extravagant Return

Yo yo yo, blidlifers, whats having? Just finished sussing on a phonecall with the girv, where I enlightened him to the happenings of my swinging thursday evening in the great city of Yalifax. 

This conversation reminded me of reasons why girv is a terrible person. And in a John McCainish attempt to slander him I will take several quotes by girv out of context in an attempt to better myself.

"I really dislike bunning"-Girv
"Men are appealing.........Yea"-Girv

The more you know

roopa is fucking crazy

i was perusing the netticus and came across this little thingy known as the roopa sez blog. check this shit out.

VORP, the latest stat to come out of baseball. is the measure of a hitter or pitcher's performance in relation to an imaginary replacement.

also: hey lois, start blogging more or i shall play more physical basketball and you shall wish you never crossed the girv.

bring it on shmuckface

I got the Broux Blues

a few things about life that i thought you all should know.

our good friend SGS has graciously provided us with an alternate spelling of an alternate pronunciation of bro. instead of broo (which is absolutely ridiculous) it shall now be spelled "broux". isn't that refreshing? i think so.

here's a wee tidbit of info which may require more typing than usual.

the varsity blues (football team of UofT) was on a dandy 49 game losing streak at the start of the season until they beat waterloo on labour day. they were down 17-15 with 26.2 seconds remaining in the fourth. the kicker lined up for a 32 yard Field goal. he had missed two FGs already in his first game, in his first year of university. he made the kick and propelled the blues to a 18-17 win. that kicker just so happens to be a good friend's little brother. Andrew lomasney grew up playing football at moore park with his brother and his brothers friends. he used to kick off to a young girv who would use his unbelievable speed to subsequently run them in for touchdowns about 90% of the time. so really, UofT should be praising me. had it not been for all those touchdowns i scored off him in the nineties, he never would have been able to get over the first two misses to win the game. he also wouldn't have been able to get over the waterloo player's harsh chirping. apparently they used their superior intellect and lack of female distractions to come up with such gems as: "number 15 you suck" and "your going to miss it". Ouch, I hope lomasney's seeking therapy.

he finished the season at 5 for 10 and the blues finished at 2 and 6.
I guess that's good, it's not like I have a football team to cheer for or anything.

of course andrew is our blidlife athlete of the time before scotty because he did this a month or so ago. better late than never.

this week's ATW is that ref that took out the QB in that college football game the other night.
nice hit!

this week's rasho is going to have to be campbell for his acquisition of "sex and a story" the other night.

welcome mr. parkes

various apologies

i'm sorry.

luckily our feud is over and we can continue in this great journey that is blidlife. and i'm a big fan of the ATW. as for the rasho of the week i must again apologize. i know i don't keep up with this shit but come on, it's not like this is my fucking job (regardless of what my answering machine says). please be advised that the rasho of the week is more a rasho of the weekish. and this weekish winner is lois. thanks for all the good times and i'm sorry about all the trashing.

as for some rumers going around that blidlife is going public let me address that now.

we do have a plan in place to advertise blidlife to the world and that should be put into action in the coming month.

stay hungry

ps: this ones for you wes:

BlidLife Athlete Of the Week(s)

In a last ditch effort to dead this blidlife beef before there is a bodycount, I am instituting a new feature...Blidlife Athlete Of the Week

Although this wonderful young lady was meant to be last weeks athlete of the week, some serious (jim) bunning prevented us from posting it until this week...Making El Scotty our first blidlife athlete of the week.

Scotty enjoys blid living, having on perses and occasionally taking flights to boston olympic speed, We present you with our highest honour(aside from the rasho of the week).

Blidlife Field Trip tonite...stay posted


so it begins

well, it seems i have underestimated the technological advancements of our sisters to the south. never mind. ok lois lets dance!

some things i left out earlier:

does not respect losers
has a very good hook shot
finishes what he starts fairly regularly
often neglects his calculator
is, in fact, an alien (this has not yet been proven)
thinks explosions are cool
has been known to leave kitchens when he can't take the heat

as for this feud, i have gone with the honest approach by putting our profiles on the blog for all to see. i hope you will add to yours so we can all see what clever things you come up with next.
on a more desperate note, if you read our blog and are a member of google whatever. please register yourself as one of our followers. as you can see i have alredy registered myself. we don't have a whole lot of confidence here at blidlife so please anything you can do to help would be appreciated.

looking forward to seeing you


Oh how glorious the United States are, our slightly more rotund, ignorant neighbours to the south are very welcoming when I state I am from Canada. i am currently in Chicago, known as teh windy city, not because of the weather, but due to the number of big-mouthed politicians..anyways, im persing here returning to the east coast tmrw, I checked on to see a glimpse of Mac drizzle and perhaps some persy rhetoric, but I was shocked to find that behind my back, el girvo was desecrating the name lois in rebuttal I would like to point out some things which I despise about one Girv

-Hes from Toronto
-He doesnt bun
He is a flagrant half stepper
He can't construct a half decent land sail to save his life
He has an affliction for all things pink and gay
He enjoys sitting on the lap of Uncle Benson a little too much

Peep this 


market frustrations/sweet home chicago

the first part of the title mentions some market frustrations, so lets start with that.

persed down at the farmers market with weaslee (yes weaslee), and found the persiest of apple ciders, but that's not what frustrates me. i found some seemingly persy husked corn and bought it (5 for $3), then as i made my way to another section of the maze that is the Keith's brewery i found some unhusked corn which would have been far persier. i love husking corn on a Saturday midday. I'm still satisfied with my purchase as it is still fairly perse. i shall cook it this midday and it will delish.

not sure if you noticed but i just used five different forms of the word persey in that last paragraph.

don't believe me?
check for yourself

as for lois, he's in chi-town for the weekend and is most likely without access to the world wide web. so, i will take this opportunity to trash him behind his back.

here's a list of things i don't care for about lois:

-he probably doesn't like brussel sprouts (why does no one like brussel sprouts?)
-he is not a world class tap dancer
-he can't keep a secret that he doesn't know is supposed to be a secret
-when he falls over, he sometimes hurts himself
-he dots his "i"s with more of an oval than a circle or dot
-if he was writing a menu for a restaurant, he probably wouldn't include any exclamation points
-he smells really bad after getting lots of physical exercise
-he claims to be good at croquet but i haven't seen any evidence to support that
-doesn't know Lloyd Roberson personally

well that's just a few, but you get the point.

no, i don't like brussel sprouts either

Not a word, a feeling

you may have noticed some minor changes to the blidlife logo. in the top right hand corner is the number 12. this is the number of rasho nesterovic, the official(?) sponsor of blidlife. some of you may be wondering: why do you guys worship him. well here are the reasons why everyone doesn't worship him:

doesn't put up lots of points
not very good looking
flys under the radar
looks and acts very awkwardly
plays in indiana
he runs like a rasho

and here's why we love him:

he runs like a rasho

that says it all. the man is a leader, he's a wily vet, he plays a good d, he has his own style, and he doesn't give a shit about shit. these are qualities that we here at blidlife admire. and that is why we worship rasho.

in the upper left hand corner you may see the face and hair (or hair and face) of someone who you cannot recognize. this is Mac Dre. another blidlife hero. while rasho exhibits many of the qualities in which we try to live our lives, Mac Dre exibits the rest of them. girv and lois, rasho and dre. since rasho is more my side of blidlife and dre is lois' I'll let him explain dre's significance in a blog post to come.

the other addition to the logo is the phrase "Not a word, a feeling". when this statement came to me it was as if i finally understood the blue man group, as if i had just watched a tim and eric movie without once being confused. it all made sense. who knew such a short statement could be so profound. because blidlife isn't a word (seriously look it up, you won't find it anywhere), it's a way of life. but just saying it's a way of life wasn't enough, because it's more than that. it's a feeling (or felin').

it's the feeling you get when your higher than buzz aldrin (not that i would know anything about that).
when your so drunk, donairs actually taste good
when your doing a 180 at the top of a 30 foot standing wave
when you reach the top of an overhang
when you pass biochem (not that i would know anything about that)
when you stand at the shore of the ocean in a hurricane
when you run from a hotel chased by security guards
when you bite into a willy's "whizz philly"
when you play barret's privateers on electric mandolin
when you hit that straight-away bank shot
when you have money in your bank account
when you ghost ride on a downhill slope
when the band starts playing patty murphy
when shrimp and white wine are consumed simultaneously
when rasho hits a three
when you realize that your life would make an awesome movie that would definitely not win an oscar

when you smash

you see it's all of these things and more: It's not just a word, it's a feeling.

keep felin' it

meat anyone?

good afternoon from the girv.

as lois mentioned, no recollection of last night woke up with half eaten willy's fries on my desk and an evil goblin playing steel drums in my frontal lobe (what?). well it's the next day and life is living itself to the fullest. I assume it's a beautiful day (I haven't been outside yet) and the prospect of a denim party tonight lifts my soul. although i was not aware of this until recently and didn't have enough time to go to value village i must resort to another, less denimy outfit. tonight i will be premireing my latest v.v. purchase. more on this as it develops.

if you find yourself in need of happiness, just close your eyes and think of one of the following things:

hover shoes
latvian hocky players
scotland's rolling hills
flying fish
ghettosocks on vinyl
abe linchon
stress balls shped like turtles
personalized parachutes
and finally...

zipperheads on a thursday


A Few Words About Blacking Out

Good afternoon fine bliditereans,

I apologize for my hiatus from the blidlife blog, I received numerous emails asking if i was incarcerated, abducted or perhaps just too blid to get on this....And i reassure you, I was far too busy indulging myself in the life of blid to write on here....But I'm back

Last evening I had quite an experience, or I believe I did. Thanks to many cans of Lowenbrau combined with swigs of Whisky, I put myself into the autodrive known as a blackout and had some fun apparently. My first thoughts this morning was, hey where did i go last night, and...why is my head throbbing. I pieced together most of my night, and encountered some flipped household appliances and a half-eaten shawarma in the fridge, leading me to believe that at some point I had a shawarma, and a mini-ruckus...
anyways, im mad hungover, and in a denim mood so ill leave you with some wisdom 

Young dro at his finest...

Einhorn out