as you may have heard, lois will be out of commission for awhile. I'm pretty sure they don't have the internet on everest. i am also outish of commision till september. i will try to check in every once and awhile but no promises. so if you have this site as your homepage and you expect to entertained every time you go on the internet, i'm sorry.
some final notes:
raps are out. very sad, but there were bright points in the season. for this reason i am nominating multiple rashos of the week: the entire raps organization, thanks for the great season boys.
it's about 2 degrees up here at camp, used two sleeping bags last night as my cabin has no insulation or heating. still went for a dip though. great stuff.
stay sweet
girv
Fan Mail
This letter was sent in by Jason Jennings of West MiddleField Shire.
Hey Guys,
Im kind of the persiest guy in my small hamlet, which doesnt say much, but still I like to flaunt my persiness as much as possible. I would like to attribute all of the persiness I have acquired to the wonderful writing staff at Blid Life. I would like to let you know that up until last month, I had no idea how persy I was, or what persy even was..But After cotting through your perse, I can now proudly flaunt my smugness and exhibit random acts of perse throughout my hamlet!
Stay Bunning,
Yours Truly,
Jason
This one comes from Peggy PrettyPersey Of New Jersey
Dear Guys,
As the mother of a young and impressionable son who has access to the internet and it seems a growing interest in all things persy, I would like to say, shame on you, shame on all of you...Due to your hateful and pro-drug propoganda, I have caught my little Patterson "bunning" on many occasions, and when I catch him, he tells me to chill my peen. I have reported you to the local authorities with the hope that they catch you indoctrinating hippie draft dodgers.
Go to hell,
Peggy
And sometimes, due to our amazing fan base and wealth of knowledge we get male from readers, who are sometimes confused and seek help from us
Hey guys,
Im 19 and really bunned and wanted to know...am I Gay(please dont post this)
-Matt Fitch
I'd like to say a few words about people who flaunt bullshit
I have many heroes, but none as heroic as George Carlin. perhaps it has been through his "teachings" that I have become so bitter and senile at the ripe old age of 19. so, in his honor, I would like to say a few words about people who are not only full of shit, but they let you know it.
I'm going to start with myself (shocked, aren't you). that's right folks, i have been known to-from time to time-be full of shit. when i talk to children (something i make a living doing in the summer) i am completely full of shit (for the record kids: no, I am not the servant of the prince of New Zealand). in high school, when i told my teachers that i distinctly remembered handing th assignments in and they must have lost it, i was full of shit (and needed an extension). however, i only use my bullshit for personal gain or amusement, i guess you could call it "white bull shit". or not. either way, i do not flaunt my bullshit.
others, however, do not share my respect for the sanity of others. they like to go around telling everyone that they got 98% in calculus (but forget to mention that they have 2% of the social life of the person who got a 70%). or they guy who can't stop telling you about how he knows a guy who knows the MP for Scarborough and if you need some free pens, he can totally hook you up. i would also like to include on this list anyone who reads food labels for anything other than allergies or personal interest. but more on that later.
Al Gore
Al Gore is full of shit. did you see that movie he made? I've seen more interesting shit on
you tube. it was a two hour film of a powerpoint presentation about the end of the world. jesus, i could do that in an afternoon. there's so much bullshit on the internet these days i could do a two hour movie on Carrot Top's workout regime. seriously, this guy makes Micheal Moore look like Steven Spielberg. and what about the substance of the movie? there was none. the man rambled on about theories and speculation and used his image as the "ex-next president" to bias it all into truth.
and then we had the coldest winter in decades. how very inconvenient for you Mr. Gore.
people who get good marks but have no friends and are very impressed with themselves. they are full of shit. they think that because they spend 24 hours in the law library and memorize the textbook they're special. they go around flaunting their marks (ie. bullshit) in front of everyone. anyone can spend their life in the library and get decent marks. i don't, as many of you may know, but i could. maybe this sounds dumb, maybe this sounds like an excuse for all my shortcomings, maybe this sounds like pointless rambling (ie. most of my blogs). but i firmly believe in this: it's not what you know, but who you know and what you can get away with. think about it, i don't know shit (that's useful), but i get by.
and when you were a kid did you ever try to dignify yourself through the accomplishments of your parents? "oh, yeh? well my daddy knows Kevin Bacon." fuck you. everybody knows Kevin Bacon. these kids ought to be put on an all trans fat diet.
and what about these people who are concerned about everything they eat. hey i read food labels. but I'm in food science, these things interest me. do you know what carrageenen is? and what about these people who don't drink tap water. what the fuck is your problem? drink the water like everyone else and shut the fuck up.
and what about straight bullshitters? guys who just straight up lie about shit. some examples:
i can throw 80 mph
saturated fats are illegal in the US
chew is illegal in baseball
i have a life size rasho poster
no one has ever discussed switching the nba playoffs to the top 16 teams in the league instead of 8 in the conference
well, i can't say much more that about our favourite uncle than that.
so it seems that everyone from al gore to barry lesser is flaunting their bullshit all over the place.
and it's depressing, but hey, maybe someday it'll all come back and bite them in the ass. and i think that's begun, people are starting to get their comeuppance. people are becoming immune to this bullshit, maybe someday bullshitting will even be a crime. maybe there will come a day when we can all just sit down and admit to being completely full of shit.
well that's a poetic note, and it's a start, and i can dream can't i?
so go ahead, tell someone your full of shit. it might bring relief to your stressful life around this time of year.
well now you know
girv
I'm going to start with myself (shocked, aren't you). that's right folks, i have been known to-from time to time-be full of shit. when i talk to children (something i make a living doing in the summer) i am completely full of shit (for the record kids: no, I am not the servant of the prince of New Zealand). in high school, when i told my teachers that i distinctly remembered handing th assignments in and they must have lost it, i was full of shit (and needed an extension). however, i only use my bullshit for personal gain or amusement, i guess you could call it "white bull shit". or not. either way, i do not flaunt my bullshit.
others, however, do not share my respect for the sanity of others. they like to go around telling everyone that they got 98% in calculus (but forget to mention that they have 2% of the social life of the person who got a 70%). or they guy who can't stop telling you about how he knows a guy who knows the MP for Scarborough and if you need some free pens, he can totally hook you up. i would also like to include on this list anyone who reads food labels for anything other than allergies or personal interest. but more on that later.
Al Gore
Al Gore is full of shit. did you see that movie he made? I've seen more interesting shit on you tube. it was a two hour film of a powerpoint presentation about the end of the world. jesus, i could do that in an afternoon. there's so much bullshit on the internet these days i could do a two hour movie on Carrot Top's workout regime. seriously, this guy makes Micheal Moore look like Steven Spielberg. and what about the substance of the movie? there was none. the man rambled on about theories and speculation and used his image as the "ex-next president" to bias it all into truth.and then we had the coldest winter in decades. how very inconvenient for you Mr. Gore.
people who get good marks but have no friends and are very impressed with themselves. they are full of shit. they think that because they spend 24 hours in the law library and memorize the textbook they're special. they go around flaunting their marks (ie. bullshit) in front of everyone. anyone can spend their life in the library and get decent marks. i don't, as many of you may know, but i could. maybe this sounds dumb, maybe this sounds like an excuse for all my shortcomings, maybe this sounds like pointless rambling (ie. most of my blogs). but i firmly believe in this: it's not what you know, but who you know and what you can get away with. think about it, i don't know shit (that's useful), but i get by.
and when you were a kid did you ever try to dignify yourself through the accomplishments of your parents? "oh, yeh? well my daddy knows Kevin Bacon." fuck you. everybody knows Kevin Bacon. these kids ought to be put on an all trans fat diet.
and what about these people who are concerned about everything they eat. hey i read food labels. but I'm in food science, these things interest me. do you know what carrageenen is? and what about these people who don't drink tap water. what the fuck is your problem? drink the water like everyone else and shut the fuck up.and what about straight bullshitters? guys who just straight up lie about shit. some examples:
i can throw 80 mph
saturated fats are illegal in the US
chew is illegal in baseball
i have a life size rasho poster
no one has ever discussed switching the nba playoffs to the top 16 teams in the league instead of 8 in the conference
well, i can't say much more that about our favourite uncle than that.
so it seems that everyone from al gore to barry lesser is flaunting their bullshit all over the place.
and it's depressing, but hey, maybe someday it'll all come back and bite them in the ass. and i think that's begun, people are starting to get their comeuppance. people are becoming immune to this bullshit, maybe someday bullshitting will even be a crime. maybe there will come a day when we can all just sit down and admit to being completely full of shit.
well that's a poetic note, and it's a start, and i can dream can't i?
so go ahead, tell someone your full of shit. it might bring relief to your stressful life around this time of year.
well now you know
girv
requiem for greatness
there are no words.
only silence
waiting
watching
hurting
yup, i wrote that poem. pretty good huh?
well maybe not, but holy shit. frank thomas released by the jays. as mentioned before, there are no words to describe this turn of events, there is only silence, waiting,
what the fuck am i doing with this poetry. my whole world is upside down. ahhhh i'm going fucking crazy here. i feel like i;m gonna be watching the game and the big hurts gonna come up to bat and say "happy belated april fools day guys" and then club (or belt) one out of the park. but probably not. good luck with all your endeavors frank. and i hope my message of good luck (see previous sentence) keep your spirits up in these difficult times.
but seriously, thanks for the good times, you will be missed.
more than reed johnson (sorry reed).
raps lost behind a back-breaking performance by jason kapono (back-breaking? what the fuck is wrong with me).
all round a bad day, but i'm staring to get my throw back so thats nice i guess.
rasho of the week: frank thomas.
well done my friend, see you in the hall
what the fuck, i'm not going to the hall
i gotta stop this madness
girv
only silence
waiting
watching
hurting
yup, i wrote that poem. pretty good huh?
well maybe not, but holy shit. frank thomas released by the jays. as mentioned before, there are no words to describe this turn of events, there is only silence, waiting,
what the fuck am i doing with this poetry. my whole world is upside down. ahhhh i'm going fucking crazy here. i feel like i;m gonna be watching the game and the big hurts gonna come up to bat and say "happy belated april fools day guys" and then club (or belt) one out of the park. but probably not. good luck with all your endeavors frank. and i hope my message of good luck (see previous sentence) keep your spirits up in these difficult times.
but seriously, thanks for the good times, you will be missed.
more than reed johnson (sorry reed).
raps lost behind a back-breaking performance by jason kapono (back-breaking? what the fuck is wrong with me).
all round a bad day, but i'm staring to get my throw back so thats nice i guess.
rasho of the week: frank thomas.
well done my friend, see you in the hall
what the fuck, i'm not going to the hall
i gotta stop this madness
girv
Cabin Fever!
Ayeaaa, Its currently 337pm on April 20 2008...This means that in total I have been studying for exams for upwards of 20 days..Which means that I have spent remarkable amounts of time within the Killam Library..I feel like a pavlovian dog waking up every morning, having breakfast, showering and then trudging to the library..Im addicted, One wonders what will happen after exams, will I wake up extremely hungover, trudge to the library, realize I have nothing to do, throw up and then trudge home..I need something that will quell my yearnings for the sterile brick of the Killam library..Any suggestions?
what's going on
ok, so here's what's going on:
today marks the second day in a row I've worn shorts (not those ones you fucking idiot). that means that because of my obnoxiously stubborn personality I will putting shorts on every morning from now until somewhere around the end of the baseball season.
speaking of baseball, how about the rockies and padres? 22 innings? where's Chuck Swirsky, that deserves and "are you kidding me?"
ok so I go to write my physics exam (PHYC 1300). I go to the student accessibilities center because I'm "mentally retarded" and for some reason, the universities want to help me stay in school by giving me extra time on exams (is it possible this is a money issue?). Regardless of their intentions I appreciate the fact that they think I'm "special"(?). Anyways I go, and they're taking a really long time, apparently they can't track down my exam (and I'm retarded). After awhile they tell me that my exam is, in fact, on the 22nd. My prof signed off on the date so either they changed the date or I copied it down wrong and she doesn't read things before signing them. Maybe I am retarded. or maybe not.
so, how's your day going?
girv
today marks the second day in a row I've worn shorts (not those ones you fucking idiot). that means that because of my obnoxiously stubborn personality I will putting shorts on every morning from now until somewhere around the end of the baseball season.speaking of baseball, how about the rockies and padres? 22 innings? where's Chuck Swirsky, that deserves and "are you kidding me?"
ok so I go to write my physics exam (PHYC 1300). I go to the student accessibilities center because I'm "mentally retarded" and for some reason, the universities want to help me stay in school by giving me extra time on exams (is it possible this is a money issue?). Regardless of their intentions I appreciate the fact that they think I'm "special"(?). Anyways I go, and they're taking a really long time, apparently they can't track down my exam (and I'm retarded). After awhile they tell me that my exam is, in fact, on the 22nd. My prof signed off on the date so either they changed the date or I copied it down wrong and she doesn't read things before signing them. Maybe I am retarded. or maybe not.
so, how's your day going?
girv
The Hobbit
no, I'm not listening to led zeppelin's "ramble on". and I'm not talking about the movies with all the walking and the schizophrenic child with that hair disease that is often seen in Toronto athletes. you know the one.
no, I'm talking about Frank "The Hobbit" Menechino. 2nd baseman and utility man for the Oakland Athletics and the Toronto Blue Jays.
Last night's soirée at the Sky Dome reminded me of the fateful night in 2004 when we actually ran out of pitchers, i mean we fucking ran out. and, well here's what happened:
Jays vs. Yankees
at Sky Dome
Ted Lilly vs. Kevin Brown
John Gibbons vs. Joe Torre
Frank Menechino vs. The World
Attendance: 43541
the jays got off to a good start with Ted Lilly on the mound, they opened up the first three innings by going up 4-0 on Kevin Brown.
the Yankees then came within one with 3 runs in the 4th off a Posda double and a Matsui single. and took the lead with 4 more in the 6th. thus chasing lilly out of the game and giving way to Charles "Vinny" Chulk. after Chulk and Jason Frasor each give up solo jacks the Yankees are up 9-4.
the jays come back though in the bottom of the 8th with a couple of RBI singles from Reed Johnson and Chris Woodward off Paul Quantrill. which gives way to the arrival of Mariano Rivera to try and get a save in the 9-6 game.
then, in the top of the ninth. Dave Maurer comes in and promptly gives up a double, a single, and two walks. giving up one run and leaving with the bases loaded.
and here comes Kerry "lights out" Lightenberg who gives up a grand slam on the second pitch to Ruben sierra. and another home run to Tony Clark on the very next pitch(now 15-6). he then settles down and gets Miguel Cairo to strike out swinging for the first out of the inning. but then gives up two more singles and a 2-run double to Gary Sheffield. luckily, Sheffield got greedy and was caught trying to get to third (yay, 2 outs). then a-rod belted one (or did he club it?) to make it a riveting 18-6 game.
here's where it gets interesting, john gibbons, in only his 19th game as manager, goes to the dugout and Frankie Menechino trots out to the bullpen and then comes to the mound. 2 out, bases empty, the hobbit against Posada. Posada, being the wily veteran he is, swings on the first pitch and gets a single. up comes godzilla against the hobbit (not fair), and he gets on base off the fourth pitch.
and then on the fourth pitch to Ruben Sierra he induces a ground ball to short and this ball game is almost over.
Mariano Rivera then retires the side and gets the save. yes, the save.
it is also noteworthy that frank also pitched an inning for Oakland in 2004, giving up 4 runs on 8 hits thus giving him a career era of 27 in 1.3 innings.
he also had the second most hit by pitches in 2001 with 19. David "spark plug" Eckstein had 21.
it's amazing what you can find on the internet
girv
no, I'm talking about Frank "The Hobbit" Menechino. 2nd baseman and utility man for the Oakland Athletics and the Toronto Blue Jays.
Last night's soirée at the Sky Dome reminded me of the fateful night in 2004 when we actually ran out of pitchers, i mean we fucking ran out. and, well here's what happened:
Jays vs. Yankees
at Sky Dome
Ted Lilly vs. Kevin Brown
John Gibbons vs. Joe Torre
Frank Menechino vs. The World
Attendance: 43541
the jays got off to a good start with Ted Lilly on the mound, they opened up the first three innings by going up 4-0 on Kevin Brown.
the Yankees then came within one with 3 runs in the 4th off a Posda double and a Matsui single. and took the lead with 4 more in the 6th. thus chasing lilly out of the game and giving way to Charles "Vinny" Chulk. after Chulk and Jason Frasor each give up solo jacks the Yankees are up 9-4.
the jays come back though in the bottom of the 8th with a couple of RBI singles from Reed Johnson and Chris Woodward off Paul Quantrill. which gives way to the arrival of Mariano Rivera to try and get a save in the 9-6 game.
then, in the top of the ninth. Dave Maurer comes in and promptly gives up a double, a single, and two walks. giving up one run and leaving with the bases loaded.
and here comes Kerry "lights out" Lightenberg who gives up a grand slam on the second pitch to Ruben sierra. and another home run to Tony Clark on the very next pitch(now 15-6). he then settles down and gets Miguel Cairo to strike out swinging for the first out of the inning. but then gives up two more singles and a 2-run double to Gary Sheffield. luckily, Sheffield got greedy and was caught trying to get to third (yay, 2 outs). then a-rod belted one (or did he club it?) to make it a riveting 18-6 game.
here's where it gets interesting, john gibbons, in only his 19th game as manager, goes to the dugout and Frankie Menechino trots out to the bullpen and then comes to the mound. 2 out, bases empty, the hobbit against Posada. Posada, being the wily veteran he is, swings on the first pitch and gets a single. up comes godzilla against the hobbit (not fair), and he gets on base off the fourth pitch.
and then on the fourth pitch to Ruben Sierra he induces a ground ball to short and this ball game is almost over.
Mariano Rivera then retires the side and gets the save. yes, the save.
it is also noteworthy that frank also pitched an inning for Oakland in 2004, giving up 4 runs on 8 hits thus giving him a career era of 27 in 1.3 innings.
he also had the second most hit by pitches in 2001 with 19. David "spark plug" Eckstein had 21.
it's amazing what you can find on the internet
girv
The Mice are Learning
The art of persing that is.
the mice have a 3 point agenda.
1) master the art of persing
2) breed their own army of crickets
3) overthrow their opressive ruler, Benson: Lord Of The Rats
as you can see this is a flawless plan, almost as flawless as using your entire bullpen and turning to AJ Burnett in the 14th.
If only Uncle Owen was still around.
Check out the pictures of Barry in various social situations.
very funny.
By the way, Lorena Bobbit: The chick who cut her husbands dick off with the kitchen knife. Ouch.
Uncle Owen?
Aunt Beru?
girv
the mice have a 3 point agenda.1) master the art of persing
2) breed their own army of crickets
3) overthrow their opressive ruler, Benson: Lord Of The Rats
as you can see this is a flawless plan, almost as flawless as using your entire bullpen and turning to AJ Burnett in the 14th.
If only Uncle Owen was still around.
Check out the pictures of Barry in various social situations.very funny.
By the way, Lorena Bobbit: The chick who cut her husbands dick off with the kitchen knife. Ouch.
Uncle Owen?
Aunt Beru?
girv
library persing?
sorry lois, couldn't think of a better title for a blog post from the library. sad, i know. anyway,
just sittin' here, got dylan on the turntable and I'm doin' some physics.
you may notice we have a poll going. if not look to the right. -->
feel free to vote, but keep in mind the fact that rasho led the team in points last night with 20 and 7 boards. when was the last time lebron led his team in points? well, whatever.
speaking of the "Slovienian Slayer" (thanks huggy the bear), our rasho award goes out to:
Dr. Barry Lesser, that's right folks! (need I say more?)
watched my first full episode of cheers last night. Woody Harrelson provides an Oscar worthy performance and Ted Danson is the fucking man. Maybe I should get a psychiatrist.
jays with a tough loss last night. McGowan just can't get any run support.
raps get the six seed, we're goin' to Disney World!
don't block the fire exit
girv
just sittin' here, got dylan on the turntable and I'm doin' some physics.you may notice we have a poll going. if not look to the right. -->
feel free to vote, but keep in mind the fact that rasho led the team in points last night with 20 and 7 boards. when was the last time lebron led his team in points? well, whatever.
speaking of the "Slovienian Slayer" (thanks huggy the bear), our rasho award goes out to:
Dr. Barry Lesser, that's right folks! (need I say more?)
watched my first full episode of cheers last night. Woody Harrelson provides an Oscar worthy performance and Ted Danson is the fucking man. Maybe I should get a psychiatrist.
jays with a tough loss last night. McGowan just can't get any run support.raps get the six seed, we're goin' to Disney World!
don't block the fire exitgirv
First Beej of the Season
Man, that felt good. at first the triple by marlon byrd was a little frightening but I suppose that's a good way to get rid of a year of rust. the beej promptly embarrassed the next tree batters to get his first save in his first appearance of the year. by the way, in case your that slow: I am, in fact, talking about baseball. the Jays get a sweep of Texas in Arlington for the first time in 23 years. AJ with a sub par outing but a good showing from the offense.raps lost today behind yet another flawless Rasho performance. oh, and bosh had a good night too. speaking of the franchise, check this out. Nothing but class, maybe he reads Blid Life. well Jamario moon reads the rookie rankings, and I didn't even know he could read.
well, I guess that's it
girv
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