The Twelve Days of Girv

for the next twelve days i shall be revealing stories from my childhood so that some of you may get a small glimpse into my dementia. each day i will tell a different story pertaining to a certain life lesson that i learned or to a certain quality that makes me who i am.

the first story is about my eight minutes of fame, and the discovery of
"The Girvan Ouch".

it was a cold january day in 2002, much like today, only it wasn't raining and school hadn't been canceled. since the "field" was actually concrete and had no grass we could only play football in the winter when there was a lot of snow on the ground. we were playing a friendly match when the opposing team's third down came and went without success. my friend sean was getting ready to punt the ball and i was steamboating. i think it's important to mention that i was, hands down, the best steamboater on that side of isslington. it is also important to note that sean was three times my size. he wasn't unhealthily obese, he was just huge. anyway, i was steamboating and he punted the ball right at me. in an effort to preserve my manhood i turned around and the ball hit me in the back. well, i flew about five feet in the air and landed flat on my face. after i got up i looked a sean and said "ouch". now, since the ball had technically hit me and sean recovered the ball. he got a fresh set of downs. the play was named the girvan ouch and was used on many unsuspecting victims where we would purposefully kick the ball at people so hard that they couldn't catch it and we would recover it. this only works in your own endzone in the NFL but i have seen it done on two occasions and every time i theink of how much money i could have made if only i had become a professional football coach.

more to come
girv

The Hiatus

Ohhhhh zappp...So hangover sundays are in full effect, in order to persy and escape the wrath of the countless drinks that were ingested over the course of last evening, having on some blid is necessary.

Fuck, sorry young zanglefeen(fitch for you noooobs) is ranting on redwall abbey, remember those civil and noble mice and other assorted rodents fairly perse

Runnnnnnnnnnnnin away

koombyaa

yo, if your here because your hating on various posts made on ign boards please don't hate on this blog. on behalf of blidlife, i do apologize for our CBO's somewhat unorthadox advertising methods. while your here though, please feel free to peruse our enterprise.

onto other matters. this past week has been a great and historical one. chuck comes home to toronto, rsho hosts the raps in the indy while similtaniously and at the same time the graham crackers make smores (not a sexual refrence) and JO gets a mixed welcome.

this week's rasho of the week: andrea bargniani, for finnaly following in joey graham's footsteps and finally living up to his potential.

also, since we are in the new year the rasho of 2008 will have to be: a vote. why is it always me who chooses this shit. here are this year's nominees:

chuck swirsky
cito gaston
matt fitch
young pat
and
steve guttenberg

please vote for your favourite. without people to read the blog, we're just talking to each other

more to come
girv

NOT WORTH IT!

oh weaslee, how do you do?

in other news leafs pick up the most delicious Brad May. if, for some reason you don't have the most respect for brad may check this out. yo, what up son? i love to find shiny things in the sand with a metal detector. thinsillated.

ok but seriously i'm wearing a took. wathicn bet. there's a man with a very poor dental plan speaking in slow motion. bloohaaa?

on to the tribeks, doughnuts till ya puke. micky dees

speaking of julian kent. where the fuck is matthew broderick.



yeh
girv

blidding in the new year

what up blidditarians. girv here with a much anticipated post.

2008 is behind us and now we must begin the horrifying task of putting 2009 instead of 2008 on all of our assignments. however we can't be bothered by what we will be doing as opposed to what we are doing tonight. i know that i will be consuming copius amounts of alcohol and i'm sure all the folks up in aurora will be doing the same. i hope that everyone across blidnation from toronto to halifax, from ottwa to wherever shyssa is from will be having on just the very best of times.

keep that party train a rollin'
girv

T.R.O.B (they reminisce over bunning)

Hola fine reader(s)...

Just bunning around in toronto right now, went over to a broux's house to partake in a lord of the rings drinking game, but wait, before you label me as a loser, let me tell you, it was the most intense three hours of my life, i was hanging onto every word spoken by aragorn to see if i would have to drink, the rules are far too complicated to spell out here, but if you dare to, google the game, and have on some amazement..

anyway, i also stopped into my favourite bunning emporium, aka vesta lunch and had on a great amount of club sangwich and freedom fries...very delicious,

einhorn out,

just letting you all know that in fact, contrary to popular belief, i am still alive, and free from incarceration

Jammin in the Van

what up life,

just chillin in the van city and generally having on vacation life. i don't mean to be rubbing anything in but yeh. just finished 18 holes of golf on a very wet course. it's the UBC course but the sign says "everyone welcome". if i remember correctly (and i usually do) the entrance average for UBC science was 88. everyone welcome my ass.

anyhoo, caught the game yesterday on the plane and i've got to say i'm impressed. although it was a tough loss, i really liked the way we played and am very excited to see what jay can do with a few more practices and some rest at home.

catch yall in the T
girv

well, there you have it

in case you haven't heard, Sam Mitchell was fired today.

now I've always liked Sam Mitchell as a person but lately his coaching has been, for lack of a better word, suckey. although i don't think the Toronto media will ever be handled the same way again, i shall have to agree with brian's call on this one. as for who will be the next coach, i think jay triano (good canadian boy) will be able to do the job as long as he has to but i feel that brian is looking for someone else. since i do in fact have a life, i'm not going to go through all the NBA coaches who are currently out of work and give them all scores out of 37. i guess we'll have to see, but i'm going to give the current edge to leo rautins. i am of course, kidding.

as for www.firesammitchell.com. i suppose that speaks for itself. i guess they'll have to change their name to www.firejaytriano.com. manz always need somebody to hate.

also, Ted Rogers died yesterday. the man did a lot of wonders for the toronto blue jays and was instrumental in bringing the mighty Miami Dolphins and the unstoppable "Wildcat" offense to the sky dome. as much as i respect uncle ted, i still can't stomach what he did to our beloved stadium. it will be interesting to see what happens to the team now but i sincely hope that we are left in good hands.

good luck in all your endeavors name brother
girv

Me Nah Care Dat

Oh man, oh man oh man

Haggard living is upon us..fuelled by cheap drinks(not cheap enough) within a very wack campus bar and many late night eats. 

The only cure, is to take 6 soma's and go on a vacation to chud heaven

Day Man

who is ray stevenson?

in addition to my last post that was about 20 mins ago. we examine the question who is the new punisher ray stevenson?

opon investigation of the question we realize that the question is rediculus and should not be examined any more than nick zarlinga's uni-brow (R.I.P.) (little inside i know).

here's a new segment for the blidlife universe: now you know.

did you know: the hippopotamus (or hip, hipop, hipopanonomous? (big daddy anyone)) has the smallest sperm in the animal kingdom. just try to prove me wrong. in fact, any blidlifer who does prove me wrong on a did you know segment will receive the persyest of prizes.

sorry about the brackets

i promise i'm done for the night
girv